Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.


When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.


Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.


Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.


LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.


--Unknown


Lately, I have been going through some rough times. It's hard to talk about and never in my entire life did I expect that I would ever say these words: my parents are getting a divorce. And I would be lying if I said I saw it coming and it was no big deal.

I received my Bachelor's degree in Psychology from Hanover in 2005 and I am currently in grad school at Butler to get my Masters in School Counseling. Despite having studied psychology and school counseling, I am having just as hard of a time with this situation as anyone else would. In fact, I might be having a worse time. I wish that thinking rationally about everything could make it easier, but it just doesn't work that way. It's hard, and it's a process.

I began seeing a counselor at Butler a few months ago. Their counseling services are free for Butler students and they have staff counselors, doctoral interns, and masters interns who work there. I ended up working with a Masters intern named Rebekah. I was reluctant to open up to her at the beginning, but she soon earned my trust and I felt very comfortable talking to her about anything. I always said from the beginning that I "didn't want to talk about it," it meaning the divorce. I also don't like saying that word. Talking about it made it real, and you can't pretend that it's not happening if you believe it's real.

Today was my last session with Rebekah. It was devastating and affected the rest of my day. I hadn't realized how connected I felt with my counselor until we only had a couple sessions left and I had to face the fact that I wouldn't see her again. It hurts like a loss, because the therapeutic relationship isn't meant to continue on forever.

Rebekah was in my life for a REASON.
"They have come to assist you through a difficulty; to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally and spiritually."

She also had to leave my life for a REASON.
"Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end."

Unfortunately, her internship was only one year long and it was always the plan that she would only be working at Butler until the end of April. Although I knew that in the back of my mind, not thinking about it was so much easier than thinking about it.

Rebekah was also in my life for a SEASON.
"They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season."

Our connection as counselor and client was strong. And it was real. I felt like I had made a best friend and then right when we were starting to have a great time together and really make some progress, I had to say goodbye to her. I compared it to having a friend that was dying and you knew she was dying, but it's still hard even though you know the exact date. She said she liked to think of it as our paths going in different directions, but to me, my path was continuing and hers was ending.

Yesterday was a really hard day. It was my last session with Rebekah, which was much more emotional than I thought it would be. Plus, sometimes when people say really nice things about me, it makes me cry. I was already crying because it was our last session, and to top it off, she said a bunch of really nice things about me. Unfortunately, I had to work at 1pm, so I was still a little frazzled when I went into work, which is always fun.

I had also written a little letter to her talking about all of the progress I felt I had made with her as my counselor. I had grown to be able to trust her to be the keeper of my story, but she was leaving. I have the decision now to continue counseling with someone else or to end counseling. I have the card of a woman who has agreed to take me on as a client and she is a staff counselor at Butler, so I won't have the same problem of getting attached to someone right before they are leaving.

I know my journey through this process is not over and I have a long ways to go. I'll get there, it'll just take time. It's a really hard thing to try to work through and I'm trying my best. It's just hard.

"It is evident that you have so much love for those you care about. You love deeply and this is definitely a strength of yours. May your love for your family lead you on to more healing and growth in this area, and may your journey be your own." --Rebekah